The Case Of An Angry Tooth Fairy!

The Case Of An Angry Tooth Fairy!

Someone please tell me a way to  appease the tooth fairy. Don't know what I did in childhood to annoy her, but since then she has turned her back at me. Of course, that hasn't stopped her from claiming my pearlies - one by one.

Now one would wonder, what has brought about this sudden outburst? What else? -- one more has bitten the dust.

People generally get irritated if they find a kankar or a tiny stone in their food. In my case, when it goes 'crrrruuuunch', I know what it is. I rush to the mirror to check and find out which one was that! You see, my teeth have this bad habit of breaking off --- without any pain, without any prior indication or warning. Just like that ! Strange indeed, but true ! The crown crumbles from the base, leaving behind the poor, (heart)broken root still firmly embedded in the gums.

So, that calls for yet another procedure. After having gone through so many of them, I shouldn't actually get all worried by just a mention of a dental procedure. But each one of the past experiences has succeeded in putting me off for a life time. Even a whiff of a sound of that drilling instrument is enough to send me scurrying to the North Pole.

A close relative of mine always says that she has been through all the variations of pregnancy and child-birth - normal delivery, pre-mature delivery, bed rest,c-section delivery, the whole gamut. On the similar lines, I am eligible to say that I have seen all the permutations and combinations of the dreaded dental procedures - cavities and cavity filling, simple tooth extraction, complicated one with a curved root, root-canal treatment, cap fittings,cap removals, bridging the gap ----- you name it and I have had it. All except implant --- the thought itself makes me shudder .......but my experiences have taught me one thing, never say never, especially where my teeth are concerned.

It is said that when Lord Shrikrishna opened his mouth, Yashoda Ma experienced the greatest joy as she saw the entire Universe in the mouth of her little Krishna. I am proud to say that I have given that pleasure to innumerable dentists, who had the good fortune of cutting my teeth down to size. 

One look at this 'universe' and I am sure, there is a quick call on the 'Home' number, "Honey, remember that jewellery set you were pinning for? Go ahead and purchase it, a gift to my precious wife!"  A number of Mrs. Dentists should be thankful to me (rather my teeth) for their jewellery and/or other pricey gifts.

Now, why did I say innumerable dentists? Visiting a number of dentists was never because of any arguments or disagreements etc. (It was merely due to circumstances) The dentists would not let me go so easily, because afterall I am a golden egg-laying hen for the professionals. And as for me, a dentist is as essential as the milkman, paper-boy, grocery shop-walla etc. etc. Actually I see these other guys less frequently than my 'Saviour'.

I am sure, now you dear people are crinkling your noses, 'Probably she can't take good care of her teeth', or some similar thing. Sorry to disappoint, but I have a dentist's certificate regarding this matter.

A dentist couple, both husband and wife who are our good acquaintances outside 'The Chair' ( I mean the dentist's chair obviously. Mind you, for me it is in no way less than the electric chair of the gallows!), once had a  'golden opportunity' to treat my less-than-32. The husband called his wife, "Come here, have a look," As if in there was the world's Eighth Wonder waiting to be discovered, "See, her oral hygiene is so good." The wife nodded and replied sombrely, "Yes, but the problem has already set in, so can't do anything."

Her words sounded the death-knoll for my poor teeth and the future was doomed.  

So, if my oral hygiene is good, then ---- why MY poor teeth, O Lord? My family shakes their heads in unison, 'You have inherited it from Nani!'. Yes, my maternal grand mother had to start wearing dentures from the age of forty five. The funny thing was, no one suspected that anyone could be wearing it from that early age. So it was taken as her real teeth. When everyone complimented her on having a perfect set of teeth even after seventy years of age, Nani would just smile mischievously.  

Oh well. So then what is the future of my precious ones, O Tooth Fairy?

Unlike me, you guys may not have been lucky to have had such 'vast experience' in this field. But most of you must have encountered this necessary evil of 'the chair' at some point or the other. Do share your experiences --- at least that would give some solace :-)